Dear God, what is that thing?

I had to use the watercolor effect on this picture to give it some semblance of aesthetic appeal. I mean, good lord. It just keeps on growing. Almost 35 weeks. The babies are almost certainly 5 pounds now. That means I'm carrying the equivalent of one really big honkin' singleton baby, plus two placentas and a double dose of amniotic fluid. Anyone feel like trading bodies for a day or two?

The pressure/ache in my pelvis is getting worse, particularly on the left side, which is where both little heads are. It's quite painful to walk, especially by the end of the day. Certain yoga poses still feel good, though. And A. got me an exercise ball, which I am sitting on as I type this, because it's more comfortable than an ordinary chair. My abdomen aches as the babies angle for space. I get weird twinges and cramps. My nose looks strangely red. (?) But I soldier on.

I am really loving not being at work. Some people have asked me "what will you do all day?" and "won't you get bored?" These are silly questions to ask a woman who is trying to finish a draft of a novel knowing that any day she could give birth to twins.

My pattern so far is thus: get up around 8:30 and eat breakfast while leafing through back issues in the stack of New Yorkers that is forever accumulating on our kitchen table. Check email, then write until around 12:30 or 1:00 or however long it takes to meet 1000 word minimum, taking occasional breaks to snack, refill my water glass, hobble to the bathroom, etc. Then, after lunch, I can spend the afternoon doing whatever the hell I want. Yesterday, I cleaned out my office, uploaded some CDs onto my iPod, and read some childbirth/care articles whilst lounging in bed. Today, I have a doctor's appointment and some thank-you notes to write.

I suppose it's possible that I could get bored with this sort of existence, but somehow I'm thinking I can handle it for a couple of weeks.

I hope you are all doing well, and enjoying the festiveness of the holiday season. I am, mostly in the form of gazing at our Christmas tree and declining invitations to holiday parties in favor of having friends come over, bearing food. One holiday nit: I was bummed to learn last night that a Charlie Brown Christmas already aired, way back on November 28. What's up with that??

Thank you all, by the way, for your labor advice. I should probably be more scared about the whole thing, but I'm oddly excited.

And, FYI, at the moment, T-Bone is my favorite reader, for kindly guessing 12/19 as my delivery date. Anyone for 12/16? 12/17? Please? Yeah, yeah, I know; the longer they stay in, the better. I just don't want them to miss Christmas. Yeah, that's the ticket....