Friday, July 28, 2006

Strange symptoms I have known

Pregnancy is weird. You never know what it's gonna do next. I feel like I'm entering a new phase of symptoms, some good, some not so good, some just bizarre:

1. I feel like I'm bursting at the seams. This has been a week of rapid twins / Jane growth, I think. My belly feels and looks decidedly bigger, and it feels bigger, if that makes sense. In fact, the past couple of days, I've been a bit uncomfortable at times. It's almost like my insides are straining against my outsides. You know how it feels when you stick your stomach out as far as it can go, pretending to be fat or pregnant or god knows why we do these things, but we've all done it, right? It feels like that, all the time, except I'm not sticking it out. I hope this isn't a bad thing.

2. It's harder to get comfy in bed. Sleeping, I mean. I could physically sleep on my stomach, but have a feeling it's not a good idea. On my side tends to hurt my hips after awhile, even with a pillow between my knees, and on my back is the best (isn't there some point at which I'm not supposed to do that anymore?) but it's just hard to feel totally comfortable. I woke up this morning with my lower back hurting.

3. The heebie jeebies. Now this is a bizarre one. Ever double up on Sudafed doses by accident? Or drink way too much coffee? You feel like little bugs are crawling around inside your limbs and you can't stay still. This was happening to me the other night as I was trying to fall asleep and I had to come downstairs and do a frantic series of reps with my 3-lb dumbells to make it go away. I'm not sure why I thought this would help, but it actually did, a little. I have no idea what causes this kind of thing, or if it's even pregnancy related. Maybe it's the heroin withdrawal.

4. Charlie horses. Left calf. Middle of the night. Motherfucker.

5. Decreased appetite. This is surprising to me, but I don't feel the constant need to fill myself with food as I did during the first trimester, when eating felt like a full-time job. I'm still eating more / more frequently than normal, but am not constantly, simultaneously ravenous and queasy the way I often was in the first few months. Hmmm...it's been 45 minutes since I ate breakfast. Writing this is making me hungry. Never mind.

6. Unintentional hotness. Forgive me if I toot my own horn for a bit here, but I look good. Maybe this is the famous pregnancy glow. Or maybe it's just not having a pasty-white-rainy-New England-spring complexion anymore. In any case, my tits look the best they ever have (I'm a C cup! I'm a C cup!)and I feel like I'm getting more honks from Masshole men in cars on my walks home from the T after work. More turned heads. But that could just be people trying to figure out whether I'm pregnant or just fat. Or some hallucinogenic effect of the extra estrogen in my system.

So, there you have it. Meanwhile, the twins are approximately 4-1/2 inches long and apparently turning into fuzzy little lanugo peaches. Awww.

Thank you, by the way, for all your suggested responses to the rude twin questions. Now, my husband thinks I'm being paranoid, and that the do-twins-run-in-your-family question, in particular, is innocent. (But it's who says it, and how they say it, I argued.) But he came up with the most excellent hypothetical response I've heard yet, which I intend to try out on the first wacko stranger who asks me how I ended up with twins:

"It was Jesus."

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