Babies do the darnedest things

Much has been made of the girls’ smiling abilities. But what of their other talents? Surely, you say, they must do more than simply lie about moonily grinning. Dear reader, prepare to be dazzled , dumbfounded, and delighted as I tell of the infantile feats and fancies of Mlles Elsa and Clio.

Lint Collection. The twins are amazingly adept at this. Look between their fingers or toes or in the creases of their palms at any given time, and you’re sure to find little bits of fuzzy gunk. How does it get there? Where does it come from? I’m not quite sure. I suppose some of it comes from my own clothing, which they tend to clutch in their little mitts while nursing. And the toe fuzz must come from the inside of their sleepers. I love to pick and pluck at things, so I’m perfectly content to play the role of monkey mama , clearing the stuff from between their fingers with mine and flossing between their toes with baby wipes. But it is strange how often I find myself doing it. Those gals really like their lint. I guess ultimately it's a sad commentary on my housekeeping abilities and/or the rate at which our cat sheds.

Squealing / Squawking. The ladies’ noisemaking repertoire has expanded beyond grunts, snorts, elephantine trumpeting sounds, and crying to include some little gurgles, squeals, and phlegmy guttural interjections of what I can only assume is pleasure, as they tend to make them when they’re lying on their backs smiling and kicking after a good feeding. They don’t really coo, but they do make some short vowel-sound bursts. Clio has her own trademark squawk, which sounds something like “Bwah!” and can indicat e either excitement/contentment, or annoyance and impending despair. It’s like Chinese; a slight difference in intonation changes the meaning completely.

Looking at things. This is one of the ladies’ favorite pastimes. Though we eagerly dangle brightly colored, developmentally appropriate toys of all kinds in front of their faces, what really seems to captivate them are furniture, walls, ceilings, windows, picture frames, piles of laundry, and other developmentally irrelevant objects. Eyebrows, hairlines and long hair are also popular.

Speed-Nursing. During their first few weeks, each baby would nurse for anywhere from 25 to 40 minutes. Clio would have hung out and nursed all day, alternately slurping and snoozing if I’d let her. Now, I’m pleased to report, the average nursing time clocks in closer to 15 minutes per baby. Clio is still a more leisurely – and sloppier – eater, and Elsa has been having some acid reflux issues, making for some fussy feedings and a lot of spit-up (baby Zantac seems to help somewhat) but overall , their nursing aptitude and efficiency has made impressive gains. I finally understand why people say nursing is more convenient than bottle feeding.

Production of simulated ricotta cheese. Otherwise known as spitting up. Both ladies excel, but Elsa, as previously mentioned, has the edge. Both babies are also good at initiating games of "hide-and-go-puke" wherein they spit up whilst being burped and we don't notice until later when we see (or feel) the wet, clotty stains all over the bed / couch / our clothes / etc. Fun for the whole family!

Swimming. OK, not exactly swimming, per se. But they’ve become quite agreeable about being bathed. Part of this we think is due to the fact that we’re submerging them more completely in the water, rather than using the hammock contraption that came with the little plastic tub, so they don’t get as cold. But I like to think that it’s also because they’re learning to appreciate the finer things in life, a nice warm bath being chief among them. Soon, we hope, they’ll feel the same way about sleep.

Next time (probably) the story of our quest for a part-time nanny/sitter as I prepare to return to work.